“ISTARTED smoking dope at
about 14” says Neil, now 30. “Long
hair and dope was part of the music
culture that I was into.
“At 16, I could get my hands on
dope more. It seemed a lot cooler
than getting drunk; people on
marijuana seemed more switched
on than beer-heads. I got more
and more into it and was kicked
out of college for being stoned in
lessons.
“So I moved away and hooked
up with dope dealers who seemed
to be really switched on. I smoked
a lot, every day.
“Sometimes I feared being addicted
– I would try to go a day
without dope, but usually I would
end up smoking. Either I’d find
some money or dope, or if I had
neither, suppliers would turn up
at my door.
“I’d often think ‘Wow! I’ve done
a day without smoking’ – then I’d
realise: ‘No I haven’t, here I am
stoned’. I worried about addiction
and felt paranoid about whether
the people I was with had some
kind of hold on me through it.
“I thought, ‘If there was something
else that could give me the
same buzz or the same spiritual
feelings as dope, I’d do it’ – but I
didn’t know of any such thing.
“Once, I had had some marijuana
and a nasty experience
followed with hallucinations that
were incredibly real to me. Something
spiritual happened and it
shook me up.
“When I met the Jesus Army
at Glastonbury in 1993, I shared
my feelings with people who
understood like no one else had.
I started finding a way out. I
was baptised as a Christian and,
when I came up from the water,
the power of the Holy Spirit hit
me full on. It was awesome. Marijuana
didn’t have a touch on Jesus
– not at all. I realised this was
what I had been looking for. It
wasn’t just meaningless: it made
sense.
“I was warned not to smoke
again; but the next day I slipped
up, before I caught myself and
knew I had to not let go of the opportunity
I had been given. The
power of the drugs was broken
– not just physically, but habitually,
in a lifestyle sense. I had been
set free.
“So I stopped smoking there
and then and put it behind me:
I’ve not touched dope for 12
years.”
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