When their daughter, Pamela, volunteered as a nurse in war-torn Vietnam, Ted Donovan and his late wife, Joyce, were proud of her courage but longed to stop her going into such danger.

"We'd moved from England to America in the 1940s," explains Ted, who is now 83. He lives in Oxford, where his younger daughter, Liz, belongs to the Jesus Fellowship.

"One day in 1968, in our home in Boston, Pamela said 'Daddy, I can't sit watching the Vietnam broadcasts any longer. They need me.'"

Ted and Joyce were no strangers to violence and danger. Born in Dublin, they'd lived in Liverpool during the Second World War.

"Our first home was bombed and Joyce was one of the few saved from a ship blown up in 1940. As it sank, Joyce had a revelation that nothing can happen outside God's sovereign will. She couldn't swim even 100 yards - but God gave her great peace."

That revelation was a lifeline when, just months after Pamela started nursing in Vietnam, Ted and Joyce received a cable to say she lay unconscious in a Saigon hospital.

"Next day, a large black car arrived. When Joyce saw the American colonel she said 'You don't have to tell me, I know, Pamela is dead.' We knelt and accepted God's will.

"Everything seemed unreal, like a bad dream. What added to our sorrow beyond telling was that for some years Pamela had rejected God. I put my arms round Joyce and said 'Remember two things. God is our loving Father and Pamela went out to serve'. Together, we read Romans 8:28 'We know that in everything God works for good with those who love Him.'"

The following day came the letter that Ted says 'brought a peace the years have not dimmed'. Pamela's last letter described joyfully going to church again and feeling on 'cloud nine'.

Knowing Pamela had died in a right relationship with God meant everything to her parents. Their trust in God was soon proved by a further trial.

"Pamela was buried with full military honours. At the funeral we were given a certificate listing cause of death as 'administration of drugs by unknown cause'. This baffled us. But our precious child was dead. It seemed of little consequence. Then a second certificate arrived, listing cause of death as 'self-destruction while of unsound mind'.

"Over the years, many things have come to light about the horrors of Vietnam. As in all wars, there are mysteries that really don't matter in the light of eternity. Nothing would ever convince us Pamela committed suicide - her letters were full of joy and plans.

"We thought of pursuing the matter and got as far as writing a letter. After much discussion, prayer and reflection we tore it up. We'd been given the gift that the world cannot give - peace."

Ted has seen many people make a different decision when tragedy strikes - spending their days trying to 'track down the truth' or 'right the wrongs'. He feels God's way is better.

"The wound of Pamela's death will always be raw. But whatever wrongs may have been done, God graced Joyce and I with strength to forgive and peace to go on living life in a full way. Since then, we prayed together for many angry, bitter and grieving people and invariably it was forgiveness that opened the door to their healing."