11 SEPTEMBER 2001. Like billions of others around the world, Andy Crisp spent the day transfixed by the live images on the TV. Seeing people dying as the Twin Towers collapsed really hit him. "I don't want to live for this life," he thought to himself. Little did he know what that would mean.

"Marriage was the one thing I really wanted - always," Andy recalls. "And it was the one thing I hadn't really given over to God." However, some years previously, he had said he'd do anything for God.

Revelation came in stages. First, on holiday, one friend was talking about his celibate gifting. "God is the ultimately faithful lover," he said. His realistic approach to his calling impressed Andy, but still "I've only got one life. I don't want to be celibate," he thought.

Ten days later, it was the central mJa celibates meeting. Andy decided not to make any decision. But he couldn't enter into the worship. "How could I sing 'Jesus, all for Jesus' when I'm not giving my all?" Instead he sat and read the Bible. "What I learnt that night was that celibacy was a gift, the adding of something, not the taking away."

The next day, 31 October 2001, as Andy was driving to work, God spoke: "I want you to make a decision. You can get married. You won't be sinning if you do. But I would prefer you to be single. Choose."

Andy struggled but, eventually, he did say yes. "It was as if I had shut a door behind me, locked it and thrown away the key. I had surrendered what was more important to me.

"At first it was brilliant. God was pouring stuff into me." Five months later, he really regretted it. "It felt like I'd committed suicide. But a word of comfort came: 'You feel your life has ended. It is only just beginning.'"

The past three years have shown Andy the importance of brotherhood: "At first I thought it was just me and God. But this is not God's intention. And it was not providing me with what I needed. I needed 24/7 church."

Intimacy with God has become more real, and his desperation for God fuels prayer. "God's got an awful lot for people who are prepared to receive," Andy says. "I'm so aware of God's love I don't even want marriage. God is enough."

Andy admits celibacy is a sacrifice, but blessings follow. "If you say 'I'm happy to stay single until someone comes along,' what you miss out on is the tearing down of hopes, ambitions and dreams - a painful thing, but you give yourself to God.

"If you've ever played Jenga, you'll know if you pull out the bottom brick everything else falls down. My celibate decision felt like that at first! But God is building a strong tower."

See also: Purity in marriage Purity Forgotten? Purity means Freedom