NEITHER Rob nor Pauline Bentley were committed Christians when they married in the ‘Swinging Sixties’. But, instinctively, they chose to be married in a church.

“All around us,” explains Pauline, “people were pushing away the accepted moral customs of previous generations and experimenting with new things, including wife-swapping. We watched colleagues get married in a casual, haphazard style and could see those marriages were never going to last. We didn’t want to do that. We felt serious about marriage and - even though we didn’t yet really know Him - we wanted God’s blessing.”

They’d been married for six years and had two sons when Rob decided to write a novel. During his research, he read the Bible - which brought him, unexpectedly, to personal crisis point.

“That evening, in 1974, I said to Pauline: ‘We’ve got to stop fighting God. We’re both just living for ourselves.’”

There and then, they knelt down and prayed together. The result was a complete turn over of their lives, as God began to demand purity in every area.

“We were very much people of our time,” says Pauline. “If we hadn’t found God we’d have easily rationalised that wrong was right and slipped into the values around us. As we read the Bible, we saw that marriage is unique and sacred, something God has ordained. Using the Bible for our guidelines, we worked towards a vision of a marriage that was innocent and guileless, where even our motives were open to each other.

“Six months later, we started work at the Rochdale Salvation Army hostel where we met a godly couple who were great role-models. Through intensive discipleship, they helped us get our life in line. We had many difficult years, but that training gave us the underlying confidence in God’s unalterable word to sustain us.”

In 1995, Rob and Pauline joined the Jesus Fellowship and now live in a London community house.

“Many people, today”, says Rob, “think it’s impossible to have a partner for life. Divorce and promiscuity don’t shock any longer - they seem to be accepted as normal.

“Christian marriage stands out, I believe, as a prophetic sign.

“We’ve gained richness and depth together that can only come from a length of relationship and shared experience. I feel sure that the giving and taking, the real mutuality, that is necessary in sustaining a meaningful physical expression of love - including, of course, the sexual side of marriage - gives an insight into some of the deeps of the relationship of Christ to His Church.

“The devil has tried to devalue and besmirch God’s beautiful gift of intimacy and the Holy Spirit seeks to reclaim it and put it in its proper setting. It’s challenging but inspiring, if you’re married, to meditate not just on Ephesians 5 but on Hebrews 13:4:

Let marriage be held in honour, esteemed worthy, precious, of great price and especially dear in all things. And thus let the marriage bed be kept undishonoured, undefiled; for God will judge and punish the unchaste, all guilty of sexual vice and the adulterous.

“Because we value marriage so much, Pauline and I greatly esteem the many in our church who have chosen to stay single for God. They’re sacrificing something that is good and precious and part of our ministry is to love and support them. We also play a part in bringing security to those who’ve never known proper family life.”

“We’re thankful to God for our life together but we know marriage is limited to time. ‘In the resurrection’ Jesus said ‘they neither marry nor are given in marriage’ (Matthew 22:30). We’re called to put Jesus first and build His Church. The only eternal relationship will be that of Jesus and His Church, His Bride.”

See also: Purity Forgotten? Purity means Freedom Living in Purity