FREED TO SERVE GOD WITH ALL MY HEART!
For Curd de Vries, some sound advice from a trusted spiritual mentor was to open his eyes to a whole new course in life.
HOLLAND, 1992. The brother looked at me - a two-week-old Christian - and said: "It really would be better for your spiritual growth if you and your girlfriend put some distance between each other."
I knew it was coming. We had spoken about it often and knew that we were preventing one another from finding our own spiritual path. I had just been set free from a drug addiction that absorbed all my time, money, friendships - everything. Now God wanted to fill my heart with His love.
As I thought about the advice I had just been given, it started to make sense. Because of my addiction, I had become cold and hard, and oblivious to the impact that my actions had on other people. I needed Jesus, the perfect man, to sort me out. I needed Him to be closer to me than anyone else was. He had given His life for me. I wanted to give my life to Him too, but how?
One thing I realised. Beatrix occupied a place in my heart that was far too big. How could Jesus fill my heart if it was so full of love for another person?
My brother saw that this was a tough proposition to take in, so said: "Perhaps you'll get back together again." This brought some comfort yet there was something inside of me that found the prospect of going through life just with God exciting. After all, I had never wanted the commitment of marriage anyway.
What I was about to discover over the next few years went far beyond my expectations.
I became a disciple and learned many things about the Kingdom of God. After a while it became clear that not everyone in the church was that focused on enjoying God's family and spreading the message of His forgiveness. Instead many of them were busy trying to find a partner.
The matchmakers also tried to fix me up but I wasn't very interested. Was I a little strange? I thought more and more about staying single for the rest of my life, but wondered how God would fill my life and bring His love and presence in the area of my soul that desired an intimate relationship. Of course I had times that I longed for a woman in my life, so knew that it could become a tough journey. But I didn't have those feelings very often. After all, I did have a family - God's family, the church. My worry was that all my friends would marry and I would be left alone! How would this end up?
Three years later, God's call came to go to England to see what He was doing in the Jesus Army. From the moment I first stepped into the community house in London it felt awesome. These people actually believed the things they read in the Bible! They didn't want to have their own separate lives but to be available for God to be used as a source of blessing at all times. That was my heart's desire. Now I saw that it was possible.
Here people could experience the reality of God's family. Back in Holland I was already sharing a house with a couple of brothers from my church. It was great, but I wanted more, and I wanted it to be permanent. Here were a people happy to be God's family. In this one house were married people, children, single people and - celibates.
'Celibates? What's a celibate?' I wondered. Gradually it became clear: someone who doesn't want to get married because they've got something better to do. Community living was for me an excellent way of using my time better than in building my own family.
My vow of celibacy, which I made in January 1997, has brought me much stability, in the same way as someone becomes more settled when they get married, perhaps better because Jesus is perfect and 100 per cent faithful.
I have also become more balanced in seeing how beautiful it is to have godly families in church and especially in community! Both celibates and marrieds are really important. They each reflect God's love and character in their own way.
I want to be available to God with all my heart and time. It is good not to live for this life, but for the life after this. As Jesus said: "Do not store up for yourself treasures on earth... but store up... treasure in heaven... For where your treasure is, that's where your heart will be also." (Matthew 6:19-21) I guess that's why I'm happy serving God with all my heart and time.
This article has been extracted from Jesus Life magazine, published by Jesus Fellowship
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Jesus Changed My Life
